Pappa wants mamma naked
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
