the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
