I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
