I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.