We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.