K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate