I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".