Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?