What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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