Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
