In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
