ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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