I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this will be a night to untag.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
