Dual....:-)
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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