from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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