Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize