we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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