Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
please come you make the beer taste better
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
