Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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