i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
