i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
