xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
