New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
