Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
