after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
