oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
