Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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