Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
