if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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