But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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