she takes plan B like it's going out of style
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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