we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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