eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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