also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
