im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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