where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
