Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
