Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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