Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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