we made out on top of his cat.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
