...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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