I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't deserve a penis
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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