Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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