i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
