Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
