Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
