she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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