i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
