So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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