I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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