Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
