i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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