I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love you.
Bad choice
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
