does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
