'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
