This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
