I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize