In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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