I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
