I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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