i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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