If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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